I want to share with you about two different people who were both hurting and needed help. We will call one Sue and the other one Mary.
Sue had been going through much pain since she had been married. In fact, her husband had abused her many times. When she first came to talk with me, she was like a little whipped puppy.
As I started talking with Sue, I felt such pain for her. She had been treated so badly. The Lord showed me to simply hold her and let her know that I was there to help her.
Several things happen when someone who is hurting is held. It can help them to trust and to feel safe again. It can let them know that there is someone who cares about them, which is so important during this vulnerable time in their life. Just maybe, it will spark in them a feeling of fulfillment, a feeling they perhaps thought was lost forever. For if we feel unloved, we will feel unfulfilled.
Sue had no confidence in herself. This had to be restored, so that Sue would want to live again. She needed to know she was not worthless.
I asked Sue if she had forgiven her husband. She said she would never forgive him. I backed off for the moment, but I knew that one day she would have to forgive him if she wanted God to work everything out for her. We have no right to set ourselves up as judge and jury, no matter what has been done to us.
Often, when we have been hurt, we want to hurt others just as we have been hurt. We should always look to the Word of God to see what it tells us to do.
"Judge not, that ye be not judged." Matthew 7: l
I know what it's like to want to hurt someone who has hurt me. I hurt so much that at times I thought I could not stand it. One day, God showed me that it was not worth it. How could I ever have fulfillment in life if I could not forgive? For if God forgave them, then why shouldn't I forgive them also?
Sue's story has a happy ending because she has forgiven her husband, and she is being fulfilled each and every day of her life. I have watched Sue grow into a beautiful person. And she feels great about herself!
Mary is a different story because she didn't want to change from what she had become.
We tried everything that we knew to do to help Mary, but she was not willing to receive that which was being taught to her. She liked being just what she had become. We talked many times, and she often became angry and left. We were not able to work with her as we had with Sue.
Can you relate to what I am saying? Is there someone you need to forgive? Remember, there is no fulfillment without forgiveness!
An excerpt from the book, What is the Role of a Woman, by the Reverend Dolly Holland
